A Call to Me as a Man

Tony Porter’s “A Call to Men” is an eye-opening video that exposes the negative impact of masculinity on men, women, and society as a whole. As a former victim of the man box mentality, I was compelled to share my thoughts on this video and how it has changed my perspective.

Growing up, I was raised with the notion that being a man meant being dominant, tough, and never showing vulnerability. I was taught that women were there to be objectified, and that homosexuality was a perversion. These beliefs led me down a path of toxic masculinity and ultimately resulted in several instances of domestic violence with my mother. Though I never physically assaulted her, my behavior was enough to create feelings of fear and unease whenever the police were called.

As I watched “A Call to Men,” I was struck by how Porter articulated the harm that comes from having a “boys will be boys” mentality. He discussed how men are conditioned to believe that aggression is a sign of strength, and that showing any form of emotion that does not align with traditional masculine norms is a form of weakness. This perpetuates a culture of violence that adversely affects men and women, and ultimately results in behaviors such as domestic violence and sexual assault.

What was particularly impactful about this video was how Porter urged men to take responsibility for their actions and to be part of the solution. He emphasized the importance of men becoming allies in the fight against domestic violence and sexual assault, and empowering men to become better role models for their children.

Personally, I have had to heal from my experiences of abuse and neglect, and I acknowledge the harm that my actions have caused. It is a constant journey, but through resources like “A Call to Men,” I am beginning to understand how toxic masculinity shapes not only my life but society as a whole. I hope that my story and reflections on “A Call to Men” can motivate other men to seek accountability, understanding, and ultimately work towards a more just and compassionate world.