My Bipolar Love: A Rollercoaster Ride with My High School Sweetheart

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“Here is the church and here is the steeple

We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can’t, you forgive me?
I don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you“

My ex-wife, who started out as my 16-year-old high school sweetheart, was such a good friend. We met at church through her cousin, and we used to joke that we would be together for “Yeva and Yeva” because that is how Father Steven Rodrigo the priest pronounced “forever and ever.” We didn’t realize that “Yeva and Yeva” is also Indian for “10 years.”

Our relationship was a rollercoaster ride. I have bipolar disorder, and I struggled to manage my symptoms. I often acted impulsively and erratically, and my ex-wife was often the target of my anger and frustration.

One time, she locked me out of the house because I was having a manic episode. I got so angry that I kicked down the door. I nearly took down the wall with the front door. I tried to apologize, but my apology was filled with inconsistencies and lies.

I also told her that I was a Vampire from the Juno soundtrack. She didn’t believe me, even though I have fangs and I am getting longer in the tooth.

After 10 years together, we got divorced. It was a difficult decision, but it was the best thing for both of us.

My ex-wife is now a teacher and a mother, and she is married to someone else. I am still writing for the band that I started before we got together, and I am trying to manage my bipolar disorder. Listen to 8stops7 in Moderation from 1999.

I still love my ex-wife, but I know that we are not right for each other. I wish her all the best, and I hope that she finds happiness in family, school, and God.

**It’s important to recognize that mental health struggles can greatly impact relationships. My bipolar disorder made it difficult for me to maintain a healthy and stable relationship with my high school sweetheart-turned-wife. While our journey was tumultuous, it taught me the importance of seeking help and managing my mental health.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health disorder, it’s important to seek professional help. With the right support and resources, healing and growth are possible. Remember to never give up hope and search for the help you need!

My e-mail address is chrisnylaan@gmail.com and I respond to most e-mails.

Sincerely,

C. Nylaan (Nolan/Gaines) B.S. J.D. PhD